The End is Where We Start
by Shamelsshussy
Summary: Emily and Paige have made it through college convincing themselves that they are just friends. But when Paige is in a promising new relationship, Emily's jealousy surprises them both.


**This Paily idea just came to mind. I always kind of envisioned them trying to be just friends and each of them struggling with that separately and not wanting to admit it. So this is kind of about that. **

* * *

"Emily, do you have the study sheet Diaz gave out on Wednesday? I thought it was posted online but..."

Greta trailed off, hoping for an affirmative answer from her roommate. They were both psych majors and Emily's organized notes had saved Greta more than a few times over the last few semesters.

But Emily hadn't heard a word. She was staring into the full length mirror that hung on their closet door, her pretty face scrunched into a dissatisfied scowl.

"Hello? Earth to Emily? Study sheet for this ridonkulous midterm?"

"What? Oh. Yeah. It's in my abnormal psych binder." Emily waved toward her desk with a vague gesture. "do you think this jacket is good with this shirt? Or do you think it's too short? Maybe the red?"

Emily dove into her closet, rifled through hangers.

"That one looks fine to me," Greta said, crossing to Emily's desk to retrieve the binder. "But then again I'm a slob in pj pants and you are a high fashion lesbian with 6 dozen leather jackets."

"Who are you getting so dressed up for anyway?" Greta asked, settling back down on her bed with Emily's binder. "I thought you were picking Paige up at the airport tonight."

"I am," Emily answered in an even tone, shrugging the red jacket on. She checked herself in the mirror, frowned and slipped it off again.

"...and Paige is just a friend..." Greta put aside the study notes, interested now. She had been Em's roommate for the last two years and friend since psych 101 sophmore year. She knew plenty about Paige and how she and Em were _just friends._

"She is." Emily was on jacket number four now.

"And she's dating that diver girl now." Em and Paige often hung out on video chat. Greta liked Paige, could tell she was funny and sweet, but her last few conversations had given Greta more information than she ever needed to know about the diver chick's shoulders.

"Aliyah." Emily rolled her eyes and went back to jacket number one.

Greta raised an eyebrow. "Emily fields, are you jealous?"

Emily ignored the question. She turned toward Greta but avoided looking her directly in the eye. "Does this one look ok realy?"

"It's hot. Seriously. I mean you could wear a fucking grocery bag and make it look amazing, but the jacket is a nice accessory for your insane goddamn face."

Greta crossed her eyes at Emily and got a laugh in return.

Emily turned back to the mirror and started re-applying lip gloss.

"I'm not jealous."

"Ok." Greta feigned interest in the psych notes. She knew Emily would clam up at the first sense of prying. Em hardly even ever answered normal questions like "What was the worst thing you ever did in high school?" Greta suspected that her willingness to accept Emily at face value was one of the main reasons she and Emily stayed such good friends.

"We haven't seen each other in a while. I just...want to look good. For a friend." Emily was brushing out her long dark hair now, smoothing it to a glossy sheen.

"That makes sense." Greta said, head down in the notebook.

Emily continued brushing her hair for a moment, then stopped, midstroke and turned to Greta.

"No it doesn't."

Greta looked up, gave Em a small smile. "No, it doesn't. But if you want to believe it, I will too."

Emily put down her brush with a sigh and walked over to Greta's bed. "I don't want to be jealous," she said, sitting down and slouching against the wall. "We've both dated other people. I don't know why Aliyah..." Emily scowled at the name. "...bothers me so much."

"Paige seemed pretty excited about her when you guys were talking the other day."

"Yeah," Emily said, her voice dull, her gaze trained at the ceiling.

"Maybe that's what's bothering you? That she seems to really like her a lot."

"That makes me a really shitty friend though."

"Yeah. But kind of a normal ex-girlfriend."

"I just...I don't know. I maybe thought that someday. After colleuge..." Emily didn't finish the sentence. She sat up and turned toward Greta. "But now it's like two months to graduation and she's doing amazing things and with this amazing person who is doing equally amazing things and they're gonna like, go off to the Olympics together and I'm going to be just...not there. Paige is going to have this whole other life."

Emily's voice had been rising in pitch as she spoke, it broke on the last word and she looked away quickly.

"Have you talked to her about any of this?" Greta asked.

"Oh yeah. Definitely. Paige, the fact that your life is going so well is really horrible for me. Can you please not be so happy?"

"C'mon Em. I don't know her that well, but I know she really cares about you. Like, kind of a lot. I'm sure she'd want you to talk to her about your feelings."

"Maybe." Emily granted. She leaned over to Greta's desk, grabbed a tissue and blotted at the corner of her eye.

"You should talk to her while she's here."

Emily shook her head. "She's here to have fun. Not to deal with my insecurities."

Greta shrugged. "Ok. But if you need some privacy to talk or whatever, you know you can kick me out."

Emily gave Greta a grateful smile. "Thanks." She stood up. "And I really look ok?"

"Like the most gorgeous ex girlfriend ever to pick someone up at the Philadelphia International Airport."

Emily grabbed her keys and bag and headed for the door. "Perfect."


End file.
